Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of a 40 day Lenten spiritual journey to prepare for Easter for many Christians. It marks the 40 days Christ was in the desert fasting and being tested by the devil in knowledge and temptation. I’ve always been taught that we fast for these 40 days as our own observance of the sacrifice Christ gave to die for our sins. With this in mind I began this morning in prayer as I do every morning but added a Lenten devotional and meditated on what I felt I could do to best serve Christ during this time.
What came to me as I journal was the guilt I felt in ‘waiting’ to make an extra effort to do this now. On this day and for these next 40 days. Why have I not been wanting to do this all year? Catholics are good at guilt so I remembered the wise words of my former Spiritual Advisor Msgr. Elmer who used to say “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” And I could imagine him telling me, “So you are thinking about it now. No time like the present.”
I took this message for what it was worth and allowed the guilt to seep away. Later in Mass Fr. Alfonso made a very good point in his homily to the school kids (and us ‘bigger kids’) in regards to fasting. He said fasting (or giving something up) wasn’t about what was easy to give up or what would make the biggest impression on those around us. “What are you a slave to?” he asked, directing this more to those of us ‘adults’ in the pews. “What is it you can’t seem to live without every day? Or what is it you can’t stop doing? Is it the internet?” There was a rumbling of giggles and creaks from the seats shifting in discomfort “Now if internet is what you need to work then you can’t give that up. That is for your lively hood. But if it is not for work and to support your family are you a slave to it every day? What about what you eat? Or what you buy?”
“God is more than what we are a slave to,” he continued. “Show Him you love Him more.”
This got me thinking about the many things I could consider being ‘slave’ to: TV, email (granted for work but still check it consistently), food that I know I should cut down on but always come up with some rational to eat it, alcohol, and even particular thoughts that I know I should discard and give up but I fall ‘slave’ to the lies – GOD IS MORE.
There is a side of me that thinks give it all up! Don’t be a slave to any of it because God is more! I don’t want anything having ‘control’ of me. But I also know how quickly the thoughts storm in if I slipped even slightly therefore causing me to fall. But I can see that I can pick one to do well and be mindful and work on the others along the way. In essence I’ll go forward the next 40 days steadfast in one area but also being mindful daily of what I am doing, what I am eating/drinking, what I am saying and what I am thinking doing my best to answer the question, “Why?”
What are you ‘slave’ to? And is God more than _________ ?
Blessings
Shannon